Dearest Annie,

One year ago today you made your grand early entrance into our lives, our sweet baby girl to add to the mix of all the wild and crazy boys!  You were so tiny, so beautiful and so perfect.

10  short weeks later your left our lives as unexpected as you arrived.  I think of you every day and cry huge tears for you.  You will be in my heart forever.

The day I got the call that you were being rushed to Children’s Hospital, Pookey and I were at the mall and we bought you the cutest little purple tutu.  I had our photo session all planned, you in your tutu and pearls on mema’s white couch and me behind my Nikon snapping away.  I still have that tutu packed safely away under my bed, and although you never wore it, it will always be yours.

Today I sent you a balloon and blew out a candle for you, Happy 1st Birthday Annie, I love you to the moon and back again

Aunt KiKi

In celebration of Valentine’s Day the theme at I Heart Faces this week is kisses!  Make sure you go over to the site and check out the other kisses this week.  You can get there by clicking the iheartfaces icon above.

I was kinda limited on my choices this week because I am still on the road. Right now I am on a pit stop at my best friends house, traveling from Blissdom to Disney Social Media Moms Celebration.  I only have access to a few folders of pictures that are actually on my laptop.  As I was searching I came across this one and knew I had to use it.

My daughter is the oldest and first girl born into the extended family.  Since she was born 8 boys have been born and she has remained the princess at court for 12 years.  Last June my cousin gave birth to beautiful Annie and my daughter graduated to the queen lol.  She was so happy to finally share her royalty with another princess.  As many of you know we lost Annie shortly after she graced us with her presence so this is one of the very few photos I have of the 2 girls together and it warms my heart.  I hope it warms yours as much as it does mine.

♥ Happy Valentine’s Day. ♥

Emilee and Annie

543,000 babies in the US each year are born premature

that’s 12.8% of the total babies born

25% of these births are due to early induction or c section due to pregnancy complications or health problems in the mother or fetus.  In these cases early delivery is probably the safest thing for mother and child

These are just a few statistics from the March of Dimes, I’m not a big number person but let me give you a few numbers of my own.

Annie was born 43 days early ~Her early birth was necessary to save her mother’s life as well as her own.

She lived 73 days

She’s been gone 78 days

That’s 5 days longer than she lived

That not right.  We need to fight, we need save babies like Annie.

My heart breaks every day for Annie and for her mother (my cousin) her father, her 2 older brothers, her Mema (my aunt) and everyone else in my family who welcomed Annie into this world with hearts full of love, hope, and dreams of the future.

I have been forever changed by Annie, not a day goes by that I don’t think of her and hold my kids a little tighter, a little closer.

I blog today for you Annie because I love you and because we all need to fight to stop unnecessary premature birth.  To find out how you can help visit the March of Dimes website and join the fight. Do it today. Every person, every day can make a difference.

Want to join Bloggers Unite and post about a baby you love? Click here to register

~Kim

This weeks challenge is “balloons” I have so many great photos of balloons I had a hard time deciding which one to post.

This one was taken in April when we did a balloon release in honor Madeline Spohr.  Months later we had a terrible loss in our own family and my 3 year old remembered this moment and wanted to do it again for Annie.   It amazed me what a heart felt, profound efffect a balloon could have on a 3 year old.

Click here to see the other entries for this week and link up your own.

~Kim

Lots of people have been asking questions about how we are doing and what happened so here is a bit of information I would like to share with everyone.

Annie was my cousin T’s baby. Our family is a very tight knit one and we are always together everywhere we go everything we do. As my hubby says “everything is a family affair in this family isn’t it?” it is and I wouldn’t change it for the world. T is the sister I never had, we have been through so much together and have always been there for each other, good and bad times.

As most of you know my oldest child is a girl, there have been 8 children born into our family since my daughter and they are all boys. Just when we all thought everyone was done having kids my cousin found out she was pregnant again. So of course T’s pregnancy spread through the family with excitement and hope for that little girl no one else had been blessed with since I had my daughter 12 years ago. Just as I did 12 years ago with my daughter, I willed T’s baby to be a girl and so did everyone else, it just wasn’t going to be any other way. I was with T the day she found out Annie was a girl we cried together with excitement! Within a few days the pink was up everywhere, a beautiful nursery was put together complete with her own canopy crib.

Annie made her debut in this world 8 weeks early on Father’s Day, June 21st. Her birth saved her mother’s life. My cousin had not been feeling well and went to the hospital, they put her on monitors and began trying to figure out what may be wrong. After several hours of monitoring, Annie began to show signs of distress so an emergency C-Section was done. T’s appendix had ruptured and she was in really bad shape, had the section not been done it could have turned out really bad for both of them.

Despite being born 8 weeks early, Annie was a whopping 4 lbs 11 oz and in very good health. After a few weeks she was able to come home to her beautiful pink room into the loving arms of her parents and 2 brothers. She was fine, she was eating constantly, she was growing quickly, she was already 11 pounds. Last Saturday she was a bit cranky and spiked a fever so T took her to the hospital. I am not going to rehash the details here for everyone to see, I will tell you that a series of events unfolded that stemmed from a serious infection no one could have seen coming and that is how we lost sweet Annie one week ago today.

I will also tell you that this is not the first tragedy involving a child my cousin has had to endure. 3 years ago her now 9 year old son was involved in a horrible freak accident that resulted in him having 3rd degree burns on most of his body. He still has complications from the accident one of which is breathing problems. As I write this post, he is having surgery to help him breathe better. He is in the same hospital on his way to recover in the same PICU where we all sat in vigil with Annie.

All of this only leads me to one question, WHY???? How much can one mother take? What reason could there be for Annie to be given to our family after waiting for so many years for a girl only to be taken away so soon? I have always believed God has a plan for each and every one of us that we may not know, but I am having a very hard time understanding what His plan for Annie is.

Everyone is doing as well as can be expected at this point, there is a long tough road ahead for everyone, so please keep my cousin and her family in your prayers in the coming weeks.

Thank you all again from the deepest depths of my heart.

~Kim

We’ve lost a baby girl you see,
An angel in our eyes
God chose to take her hand today
And led her to the skies.

But please do not forget our girl
She was a person too
And forever she will live
Inside of me and you.

So, please don’t ever tell us
That time will heal our pain
Because not even time
Can bring her back again.

Just tell us she is happy
In that land way up above
She’s snuggled in an angels wings
Wrapped in all our love.

She was so very, very special
And was so from the start
We held her in our arms
But mainly in our hearts

And like a single drop of rain
That on still waters fall,
Her life did ripples make
And touched the lives of all.

She’s gone to play with angels
In heaven up above
We’ll keep our special memories
And treasure them with love

Although our darling Annie
Was with us just a while
She’ll live on in our hearts
With a sweet remembered smile

God bless you and keep you safe sweet Annie

I love you.

Aunt Kiki